Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

10 Video Game Companions Everyone Hated At First (But Ended Up Loving) - WhatCulture.com

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Lisa Rinna and Donna Kelce to Have a Mother-Off on the Traitors Season 4 - Vulture

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t cotton to rapists

Paul Skenes Q&A: Pirates ace speaks frankly about lack of run support in quality starts - TribLIVE.com

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Oracle Stock Surges for Second Straight Day After Strong Results, Rosy Outlook - Investopedia

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

“NASA’s Ambitious Venture Unveiled”: A Groundbreaking $488 Million Mission With a New Telescope Set to Revolutionize Space Data - Rude Baguette

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

I see through liars

Google Meet’s Material 3 Expressive redesign has ludicrously capacious buttons - 9to5Google

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I actually pay taxes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What would you change in the "Game of Thrones" storyline if you were one of the writers of the TV series?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

How the Brain’s RNA Rings Are Formed - Neuroscience News

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Stolen iPhones disabled by Apple's anti-theft tech after Los Angeles looting - TechSpot

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

UFC 317 star instantly fired after coming in 10lbs overweight for International Fight Week clash - Bloody Elbow

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have a reading level above third grade

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

My waist finally looks like how it did before I had kids but I didn’t lose weight. Why am I still 15 lbs from my starting weight?

I can count

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Bryce Elder gets rocked, Braves lose to Phillies - Battery Power

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Two More Persona 4 Actors Have Said They're Not Returning for an Unannounced Persona 4 Remake - IGN

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Boeing airplane orders rise to highest level since late 2023 ahead of Paris Air Show - CNBC

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I can read

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Warning Issued To Minnesotans About Running Fans Overnight - Duluth Country Radio

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter